absorbing versus production

I am very effected by stimuli. One of the reasons why I don't have my driver's license yet is because I like looking out at the passing world too much, and I worry that I would be a distracted driver. As a bike rider I've learned to focus- but really it's just honing the kind of observation centered on whatever is going on in your personal space bubble. Car doors that fly open a split second after I pass them send shivers down my spine, and I can almost feel which cars will suddenly swerve in front of me for that coveted parking spot. As a viewer and participant in the world I bounce from a type of focus that hums out conversation and is at times mistaken for a fierceness and unintentional intimidation, (a modified biking attitude) and one that wants to notice and capture details that connect to stories, images and smells. In everyday terms it means that I am appear either seriously occupied or spaced out, silently focused or blabbering about every little thing I notice.

I sometimes wish that all of this awareness would lead to a die-hard artist work ethic but that is a nut I have yet to crack. Maybe I am just weak-willed or too good at psyching myself out, but damn do I get distracted while doing things. Originally I meant to publish this post on the the 5th. I was going to talk about how I had found a box in my room and spent all day working to transform it into a beautiful and fitting carrier for my precious business cards, with explained process and photo evidence. I nearly finished it. The gold paint is alluring, the cardboard wallet box transformed and lined with velvet. Two details threw me off though- do I affix a black masking tape label with my website embossed to the box cover or not? The gold paint made the fit of the box very snug and now it sticks- do I keep it as it is and fumble while opening it, or do I figure out a way to make the box easier to open? How do I do that? And with those questions it has sat. I don't quite have the right type of ribbon or even a solid idea of how I want to do it, and this project follows my pattern of working. Things get started, sometimes they almost are finished, but usually I'm missing the last touch.

Today that last touch is uploading the photos I've taken to support all this chattering. I can't get it work and it's frustrating. I find myself skimming text a lot lately, so I imagine that people will notice a lack of pictures and skip this page. I'll just end these chunks of letters with a list and the acceptance that people will skim and the list has the best chance out of everything.

Things that have been eating my non-work time:

(In order of appetite)

netflix instant watch:

21 Jump Street

The X-files

movies from the 80s

movies set in California or with Aaliyah 

playing scrabble (ipod version and in person)

better job hunting:

interviewing:

barista/espresso test

by phone

in person

craigslist

editing resume and writing cover letters

 

Art projects:

 Making a watercolor color chart

( because I am ashamed of the "b" worthy one I made for Randy Chavez's illustration 1 class)

composing little studies with the left over paint from the chart

a valentine's day lino cut with astronauts

business card box

cooking tastier than what I usually eat food:

soups with tomato bases, carrots, cabbage and potatoes plus whatever veggies I have around

curried lentils with collard greens and bacon

sausage, spinach and mushroom sandwiches

Brussels sprouts

peach-ginger black tea or lycee red tea

hanging out with friends and my boyfriend

over-sleeping

the packers playoff game

 

Hopefully I can get my photos uploaded soon, but I can't promise that I will be distraction free.